Thanks for the LinkedIn Invite…Who are you?

I just received another one.  Another LinkedIn invitation from someone, and I don’t have a clue who he is.  This happens a lot.  I’m not certain what prompts these strangers to invite me to their network.  I’m not certain why people I’ve barely said boo to want me in their network.  I know I don’t want them in mine!  Maybe there’s a prize for the most connections.  I must’ve missed the memo.

Don’t get me wrong.  LinkedIn is a great tool.  And if used with some level of responsibility and restraint, it can be very effective.  But after far too many invites from complete strangers, I developed some connection guidelines (okay, rules!).  I’m going to share them with you – because you just may want to develop some of your own.

Did you sit in a meeting with me along with forty other people once about 3 years ago (or 3 weeks ago)?  And with that incredible lack of one-on-one interaction you want to connect with me?  I’m going to defer on this one to see if we ever actually have a meaningful conversation.  Until then…No Connection For You!

Did we work at the same company in a completely separate division and never ever meet ever (or the same university)?  Terrific!  I guess we have something in common. No Connection For You!

Do you know someone that I know?  Congratulations.  No Connection For You!

Have you heard I run a group?  Great.  Become an integral, meaningful part of it – assuming you fit the criteria.  Until then…No Connection For You!

Do you put your email address in your LinkedIn Name?  Good for you.  Even if you are my friend, I don’t want to connect with you.  By putting your email address in your name, you’re telling everyone that you’ll connect with anyone.  Therefore, your connections are not authentic.  The other day, a friend asked for a referral to someone they found – a 2nd degree connection from me.  I checked my LinkedIn connections and figured out this person was connected to someone I know that connects with anyone.  Therefore, all of his connections are suspect (including mine I guess).  I would NEVER refer this person (or anyone connected to him) to anyone.  No Connection for You!

Have I known you for less than 90 days?  Quite possibly…No Connection For You!  A while back, I developed the 90 day grace period for accepting invitations.  This gives me a little more comfort that you’re not some fly-by-night, one-meeting wonder.

Did we just meet on an airplane and have a really interesting conversation for two hours and I think you’re fascinating?  You know what?  I’ll probably connect with you, and hope that we sit next to each other again one day.  But until then, I know we’ll stay in touch.

Are you a friend of mine from school, work or another activity (and I actually know who you are)?  I’d love to re-connect with you.  And thanks to LinkedIn for making it possible!

I pride myself in being authentic.  I want my LinkedIn network to reflect my level of authenticity.  When someone asks me about someone in my network, I want to know this person by name and face.  I want to be able to say great things about them.  All of these things are possible only if I actually know the people.  So, if I don’t know you - please don’t invite me into your LinkedIn network.  And guess what?  I’ll try not to invite you to mine!

3 comments so far

  1. Ben D. Manevitz on

    I may have to include a link to this post in my email .sig, or at least point a number of people to it in one form or another.

    Thanks for it.

    –Ben

  2. Johan on

    I really do not understand, why people like you go to networking sites, looking for friends and people you already know? I think, you have a phone for that.. or install your own personal blog or even a social networking app, if your goal is socializing or showing off your writing skills!

    I think you completely fail to understand the difference between professional NET-WORKING and socializing. Key word there is NET!!

    People are trying to reach you, because through you, they might get access to more professionals and it might be mutually beneficially for them, if not for you. But hey, I don’t think you are amongst the kinds who like the idea of others being benefited.

    World is changing, change with it… reach out for more people to design & develop better opportunities, try to open your mind a bit…

  3. Molly Wendell on

    Okay.


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