How can you get more referrals for your business?

A couple months ago, I partially tore my right hamstring.  This was nothing compared to what I did to my left hamstring two years ago – where I completely tore the hamstring from the bone.  How did this happen?  Nothing fancy really, I was just helping my niece learn to ride a two-wheeler.  At first, it wasn’t a problem, because she didn’t pedal very fast.  All of a sudden, her confidence building, she took off.  I was running as fast as I could (while bent halfway over – trying to maintain a hold onto the seat to keep her upright).  Not but a few seconds later, I heard the tear…and felt the pain.

About three weeks prior to doing this, a friend told me about ART (Active Release Therapy).  It’s a method to speed up healing.  After the tear, I thought, I really don’t have time to be injured.  I found Dr. Nathan Campbell – a sports therapist/ART practitioner.  He’s a chiropractor as well, and while I’m not a fan of chiropractic (as I believe that a steady yoga practice will do all that chiropractic does – and more!), I set an appointment.  Long story short (too late, right?!), in less than two months, my hamstring feels healed, I’m back to doing everything I did before…plus.

As Dr. Campbell was working on my hamstring we started talking about his business.  I asked him how he got his clients.  Mostly through referral, he said, but he’s also in a networking group that meets weekly.   Now I had even more questions.  How long have you been in it?  How often do you meet?  How many clients have you gotten from the group? 

He’s been in it more than a year.  He meets weekly for 1½ hours (not including drive time), and he’s gotten a whopping five clients.

And that’s about the time I freaked out!

WHHHHHAAAAAATTTTTT???????  What are you thinking?  Do you realize you’ve just spent more than 70 hours of your life producing five clients?  Do you have any idea how much that’s cost you?  Give me five hours and I’ll find you five clients.  Because really, everyone I know has some type of injury that could probably be healed with ART.  Just hang out with a bunch of weekend warriors and you’ve got a client base for life, right?

That’s when we started talking about the value of networking, and approaching it from a more efficient standpoint.  Too many people do the activities that others do – thinking they’ll get the same results.  When, maybe, they should question the effectiveness of the results to begin with.

Now I’m not knocking these weekly referral groups (or maybe I am?), but if I’m in a group and I’m not getting at least one lead a week, then I’m hanging out with the wrong referral group.  In turn, if I’m in a group, and I’m not giving at least one lead a week to the majority of people in that group, I’m not an effective referral source for these people.  And my seat at the table should go to someone else.

Everyone in that group is looking for leads, and should have the attitude that they give a lot and get a lot.  Most people I know who join groups like this though, have the same experience as Dr. Campbell.  I used to work with a national site selection company for meeting planners.  At that time, the big trend for all of the salespeople was to join one of these referral groups.  I think one person actually got one lead from their group – and the concept spread like wildfire throughout the country.  But over and over, I saw the same results.  Lots of hours spent driving to and attending these meetings, and not a lot of business to show for it.

Honestly, when you do the math, and look at the return on investment, you’re probably better off standing outside the grocery store wearing a sandwich board – catching a draft from the Girl Scout’s cookie sale.

So, how do you do it?  How do you get leads, if not from a lead referral group?  Leads are like air.  They’re everywhere.  But unlike air, they’re not a free commodity.  You have to build the relationship.  You have to earn the right.

I get a lot of phone calls from people trying to tap into Executives Network – and sell their services.   Over and over, I let them know that we’re not the right fit for their sales pitch.  But here’s the funny thing.  For every person that calls, if I really thought about it, most likely I could come up with five people – be it friends, colleagues, acquaintances – who could probably benefit from their services.  If they built a relationship with me, I just might be inclined to send business their way.  But instead, most of them hang up and I never hear from them again.

It reminds me of a rookie football player.  You don’t show up in the beginning of football season and simply play in the Superbowl.  You have to earn it week in and week out.  Each successful week brings you that much closer to making the playoffs – and continued success finds you the star of the most-watched sporting event on television. 

Quit trying to go for the big win before you’ve ever played a game.

Start with building a relationship one-on-one.  How do you start building a relationship?  Go to a networking event that would include logical referral types.  Are you an accountant, hang out with some lawyers (and vice versa).  Are you in HR consulting?  Start attending CFO oriented events.  Are you in the consumer space, depending on your target market, go to those big home shows, art fairs, and grocery stores. 

Get involved in a charity.  Get involved in an association.  Start a meetup oriented around something in which you have interest.  Do something to get with like-minded people who you can build the foundations of a relationship.  And then, once you have those relationships, you’ll be on much firmer ground to get help in your business.  Your newfound friends really want to help you succeed. 

You’ve heard it said, “People buy from people they like.”  Well, people refer people they like too!  Get engaged.  Get connected.  Build relationships.  And hold on for the ride.  Just make sure my neice and her two-wheeler aren’t at the helm!

How do you become indispensable to your current (or future) employer?

I was talking to Jeff, my PR guy, the other day.  I couldn’t understand why it was so difficult to get on the news in New York (pay no mind that it’s the number one TV market in the country).  Jeff is good at what he does.  In fact, he’s one of the best PR people I’ve met (and I’ve met a lot of them).  But, as I sat there strategizing with him, I wondered aloud, “Jeff, why do people hire one salesperson over another?”  Sensing the rhetorical nature of my question, he hesitated, “Because they’re better at selling?”  Sure, that’s one answer.  They have to be good at selling.  That’s the bar for entry.  Assuming you have some semblance of selling skills (which seem harder and harder to come by), what’s the one thing that will set you apart from every other candidate out there?  Your rolodex.

And that’s when it struck me.  Having the skill set for your functional area is really just the bar for entry.  It’s your rolodex that makes or breaks you.  I told Jeff that, while he was good, if he wanted to be really great, he needed to get a better rolodex.  Instead of trying to pitch the media, he needed the ability to make one or two phone calls, get connected with the right person, and then use his PR pitch skills to perfection to get me on TV in New York.

I started thinking about the other professionals I deal with.  Recently, we had an issue with a hotel overcharging us.  Instead of sending it back to me to handle, I would’ve much preferred my financial accounting firm to already have the relationship with the hotel, deal with the situation, and let me know when it was handled.  If we had a really big problem, I would fully expect them to call Marriott corporate (or whichever brand we’re using) and deal with their contacts in finance.  Now that would be valuable.  And that would set them apart from every other firm.

What makes you valuable?  Your work ethic?  Your competence?  Your experience?  Sure.  But what makes you indispensable?  Your relationships. 

Your relationships give you the ability to get a meeting, get a resolution, get a credit, get a favor…with just one phone call.  That saves you time, and saves us money!

I met with a lawyer recently.  Unlike most attorneys I know, this one said, “We can do the transactional work for you – just like any other law firm.  But, my goal is to add value to your business.  I want to help you with strategy.  I know a lot of people that could provide incredible resources to you.  Resources in the form of influencers, customers, investors and advisors.  I want to help you identify new businesses that set you up for incredible success.”  Who wouldn’t want that person aligned with their business?

Three months prior to entering the world of commercial real estate, I knew pretty much no one in the industry.  Within 90 days, I met face-to-face with more than 60 people.  Additionally, I built other relationships.  I went to a commercial real estate conference in Las Vegas and met even more people (again, this was before I was even in the business).  I started to build a strategy around the idea that if I already had relationships with potential customers before I ever got hired, I’d be a far more valuable employee.

I also learned was that some of the most valuable relationships I built were with other brokers.  Because if you already have a relationship with the broker on the other side of the table, you can bring more value to your client.

You might be thinking, but I’m not generally in a role that is customer-oriented.  Keep in mind, every role is customer oriented…because without customers, who needs employees, right??

If you’re in IT, build a relationship with not only the vendor of your products you support, but also other customers who are running those applications.  Microsoft recently came out with a really interesting program for early stage companies.  I sure wish my IT provider told me about it.  Instead, I found out about it from someone at Microsoft who works in Corporate Development.

Are you in HR?  Instead of getting the job, and then figuring out the best health insurance plan to go with, why don’t you meet with people from all of the plans and find out when and why you’d go with one versus the other?  Then, once you’re on the job, you’ve just saved you (and the company) from spending time figuring out something you really should have already known.  And you know who to work through to get the job done.

Are you in supply chain?  You know what would make you really valuable?  Understanding how other industries manage their supply chain.  Understanding the cutting edge technologies they’re using.  And I’m not just talking about reading up on it.  I mean actually building relationships with those players.  They’re going to tell you things that you’ll never see in a book or article.  Then, you’ll be able to figure out how to not make just iterative steps, but truly transformational change in the way your supply chain operates.  And then, when you run into a problem at your own company, you’ll know who to call.

Obviously you can’t know everyone, but certainly you can know someone.

I could go on and on with every functional area.  But I won’t.  All I’ll say is, if you think you know enough people.  You don’t.  If you think you’re well connected in your area of expertise, then think about the other relationships you need to build.  Who are your customer’s customers?  Who are your customer’s suppliers?  Who are your customer’s service providers?  How do you build relationships with them to bring more value to the table?

Deliver on the skills.  Deliver on the relationships.  And be truly indispensable.

And, maybe someone could help me out.  If you know anyone in the media in New York, please let me know.  It will be my way of bringing more value to Jeff!

Are you getting lousy job search advice…and listening to it? Why???

I was speaking with Nancy the other day.  She’s looking for a top Human Resources role.  I couldn’t believe what bad advice she got from someone trying to help her in her job search.  Pick the top five companies you want to work for (this is not the bad advice part), find out the key executives, and then cold call them to build relationships.  WHAT?  Are you back in the ‘80s?  Since when did cold-calling make a resurgence?  Who has the time to dial for dollars?  How many people are you really going to reach?  Most importantly, who wants to be on the other end of that phone call?

I asked Nancy why she was doing this. In so many words, she said she didn’t know what else to do.  Nancy, what was it like for you when you were on the receiving end of calls like this?  Did you listen to the person intently with your complete and undivided attention?  As you listened so carefully, were you so fascinated by their background that you invited them into your office to spend more time?  Did you follow this exchange with an incredibly generous offer letter – because you just couldn’t believe the person you didn’t know you were looking for just interrupted your busy day with a call, you took it, and now your hiring needs are solved?

Or, did you wonder at all if they heard your keyboard tapping incessantly – or was the speaker far enough away – as you did your best to politely hurry off the phone so you could get back to work?

More often than not, it was probably the latter.  So what makes you so special that for some crazy reason they’ll take your call, followed by an interview and an offer?

Here’s the thing that really strikes me though.  Nancy is Fantastic (with a capital F)!  The first time I met her, I thought to myself, this is someone who is incredible at her job.  She’s dynamic, engaging, smart, thoughtful and results-oriented.  If I were hiring someone to run HR for a large organization, I’d hire her in a heartbeat.  After a couple of minutes (maybe even a couple of seconds) with her, I don’t think it would take long for a CEO of a large corporation to figure that out.

But instead of putting herself in those situations – the ones where she could be interacting with the CEO of a large corporation.  Instead of making herself visible in all the right circles.  Instead of using her natural talents to help her land the next gig, she’s listening to some stupid advice from someone who may be a very nice person, but doesn’t appear to know the first thing about getting a job in today’s economy.

After listening to all of this, I finally asked Nancy, “Are you an in-person person?  Because you seem very much like one to me.”  She said she was.  Case closed.  From now on, you are going to take your natural in-person person talent and use it in your job search.  No longer will you hide behind the phone or email.  You’re not going to land because you called someone at the right time.  You’re going to land because someone meets you and likes you and sees what I saw.

Nancy is not the first in-person person I know who has struggled with their job search.  And she won’t be the last.  The mistake most people make is that they don’t adapt their search to their own personal style.  Nancy needs to get out and meet people – because when they meet her, they like her, and will want to hire her (assuming you make a great first – and lasting impression – by not talking about yourself, but instead ask smart questions of others).

Now, this is not an excuse for those of you who say “I’m not good at networking.  I’m better hiding behind my computer, and that’s my personal style.”  You know what companies need right now?  They need people who can communicate effectively.  It’s written on virtually every job description you can find.  Right there at the bottom – just before “other duties as assigned.”  The operative word here is “effectively.”  A well-worded email may be clearly written and without typos, but it’s not necessarily effective.  It only becomes effective when the person on the receiving end not only reads it, but also interprets everything you say precisely as you meant it.  Of course, this assumes the email didn’t get mistakenly filtered out by the latest SPAM detection software.

What companies don’t need are people who sit behind their desk all day, and think that email is now a proxy for real live discussions.  But wait, what about a phone call?  Isn’t that an interactive conversation?  Sure it is (sometimes!), but there’s something about meeting someone face-to-face that really brings home the relationship.  Mail-order brides and arranged marriages aside, how many people do you know made the commitment to be in life-long relationships without ever having met in person?  How many people do you know hired someone they never met in person?  Is it the majority?  Is it common?  Is that how people are going to hire in today’s economy?  No.  No.  No.

You must know – if you’ve read even a couple of my blogs – that I’m a big believer that you’re never going to find something unless you get out there and network. 

If you’re an in-person person, then get out there and be in-person with people.  If you’re a behind-the-scenes type person, then you better hope that your previous boss loves you and wants to bring you along to every company s/he goes to.  If your boss got laid off like the rest of the division, you’d better start facing reality and get comfortable with the idea that you may need to practice your networking skills – and become that in-person person (at least for a little while) in order to land the right opportunity.

How much of the conversation are you missing because you’re doing all of the talking?

My dad was in the hospital recently.  He was having chest pains, so my mom called 911.  When the paramedics arrived, they started to ask him some questions.  But oh so quickly, Dad interrupted.  “Hey, do you know Willie?”  Willie is the Fire Chief.  Turns out they work for him.  “What about Mark?” Mark is their immediate boss.  Look at that, in the midst of crisis, Dad was making conversation – finding common bonds.  Doing some networking.  I think Dad got a little extra attention that day.

Fast forward to the hospital.  We’re in with my dad waiting to hear from the doctor.  As a general rule, my dad never seems to know what’s wrong with him or what they’re going to do.  And now I know why.  Right when the doctor is about to share some very important information, Dad interrupts with some very important questions.   “Did you get a chance to see the game last night?  Are you a golfer?  Darly sure is a great nurse, isn’t she?  Do you know Vanessa – over in Telemetry?  She’s really something!”  And that’s when it occurred to me.  How much is Dad missing because he is too busy talking and not busy listening?

This got me thinking about people who are out there networking.  You might be having a conversation with somebody, and just when they’re about to share some really important information, you interrupt with something you’re just dying to say.  By saying it, you take the conversation to another direction and now you’ll never know what it was they were going to tell you.  It could have been a possible connection.  It could have been a lead.  It could have resulted in some real revenue.  But instead, you just had to talk.

I was meeting with someone recently about some technology I’m trying to build.  As he was talking, I found myself about to interrupt him – multiple times.  It was that start/stop feeling of waiting for an opening so I could say something.  Kind of like when you were little, playing jump rope.  You keep waiting your turn, and if you’re not perfectly timed, you’ll end up getting tangled in the rope.  The anticipation of getting your timing just right forces you to think more about you and what you need to say, than listening to them and finding out what you need to hear.

In hindsight, what I should have done was jotted something down to remember the question or statement, and then continued listening.  But instead, I probably got tangled in the rope a few times.

People do this all of the time.  They talk and talk and then talk some more.  But to be a good conversationalist (and therefore, a good networker) you need to listen, listen and then listen some more.  And just because you’re not talking doesn’t mean you’re actually listening.

Try practicing this next time you’re in a conversation.  Let the other person talk.  And then let them talk some more.  And then, let them talk even more.  You’ll be amazed how much information you walk away with.  And don’t worry that you didn’t get to say everything you felt you needed to at the time.  You can schedule a networking meeting with yourself…and do all of the talking!

And what am I going to do with my dad?  I tell you what I’m going to do.  From now on, I’m going with him to every doctor’s appointment he has…so we can find out more than just his doctor’s golf handicap.

The one thing that might be standing between you and your next job.

John called me yesterday.  He was really excited.  Last week, in the Executives Network meeting, I referred him to Brad.  John wrote down the info, called Brad that afternoon and scheduled lunch for Tuesday.  Midway through the lunch, Brad called his HR department and told them to call off the candidate search they were doing – because he was sitting across the table from the perfect person for the job.

How often does that happen?  Someone follows up on a contact (not even a lead…just a contact), and they get a job.  It happens more often than you think.  And you know what happens when you don’t follow up.  Nothing.  That’s right.  Absolutely nothing.  How many jobs have you lost out on because you weren’t diligent in your follow up?  I guess you’ll never know.

I’m amazed at the number of people that don’t follow up.  I mean really great contacts that could help them in their search.  How do I know they don’t follow up?  Oh, I know alright!  I can even figure out during a meeting who will follow up and who won’t.

But we’re all probably guilty of it…this lack of follow up.  When I was in the job search, I definitely was.  But, if I were to do it over again, that’s the one thing I would do differently.  I would be diligent about following up on every contact, every lead, every neighbor…everyone!  It wouldn’t matter who they were.  Because what really matters is who they know.  Even after I landed, I wished that I had made just a few more connections – realizing that they might’ve been helpful in my new position.  But since I was already in that, calling them now would make it look like I was trying to sell them something.  And when that job wasn’t all that I imagined, I wished I had built those other relationships to fall back on.

I’ve been accused of being a teacher, a taskmaster, a drill sergeant, and probably a few other names that don’t bear mentioning.  All because I’m adamant that people write down the referrals.  It’s not that I don’t trust that you’ll remember it…well, actually who are we kidding?  That’s exactly what it is.  I don’t trust that you’ll remember it – especially after you leave the meeting, run into a friend at the coffee shop, and sit down for a few minutes.  A glance at your watch, and you realize you’re late to pick up your daughter, and just remembered you still need to run by the grocery store.  By the time you get home, your wife is wondering what took so long.  So do I think you’re going to remember it?  No, I don’t.  Case closed.

But here’s what else happens when someone gives you a contact and you don’t write it down.  It looks like you’re not listening.  It looks like you don’t think it’s a valuable contact.  Basically, you just dissed the person who was trying to help you.  You made them feel like their contact wasn’t good enough for you.  You completely and blatantly disregarded their helpful advice.  Do you think they’re going to help you out again?

But wait, you say, “I have a really good memory.”  So do I, but I at least give people the courtesy of showing them I value them.  Showing them their idea/contact/referral was very important, and I want to remember it.  I’m going to memorialize it on my handy little note card (probably a NetNote).  And I’m going to follow up.  It may not be today, but I will follow up.  And then after I do, I’m going to let them know by giving them a quick call, or sending an email.  I’m going to thank them for the referral and find one or two things of value I got out of it (which may even be the introduction to someone else, or better yet, a job!).  And I’m going to get back to them and close that loop.

Do I always do this perfectly?  No, but I sure try.  And so should you.  Because that referral might be the person standing between you and your next job.  And if you never follow up, you’ll never know.

Job search rules were made to be broken.

The other day, I was talking to Mark about a potential opportunity. A company had posted a position and then pulled it a couple days later. I found out (serendipitously from some guy sitting next to me on the plane) that the position was still viable, but they had some procedural things to deal with before reposting it. I told Mark about it. He called my new airplane friend, and then told me that as soon as it was reposted, he was going to apply. Why? Why wait? Why not network your way into the company before it ever gets posted? In fact, why don’t you get to the hiring manager, get a meeting, have a conversation and save them from having to post it in the first place?

And then I wondered…Mark, why didn’t you think of that? Why did you have to wait for a posting? Is that the rule? Who wrote these rules? And who says you have to follow them?

All this nonsense about rules got me thinking about a brain profiling tool I use called Emergenetics. Emergenetics helps you understand how people think. It divides the brain into four quadrants. The left side includes Analytical & Structural, the right Conceptual & Social/Relational.  (If you want more details about it, go to www.emergenetics.com.)

What I realized is that people who have a lot of structure in their brain – and by structure, I mean people who have a preference toward rules, guidelines, process, procedures – may find themselves stymied in today’s job market. And here’s why. People with a dominant tendency toward structure expect that everyone else will, of course, follow the same set of rules and guidelines that they believe should be in place.

And…the thing of it is, in today’s job market, one of the most important things to do is forget the rules. I mean, it might benefit you to have a complete and utter disregard for any rules you believe might exist. After all, who made up the stupid rules anyway? Chances are, those people are probably not even at the company anyway. Here are some of the rules that, in my opinion, you should make every effort to break:

We only take applications online. You can’t tell me that if the CEO met the absolute perfect person for a VP-level position that wasn’t even posted, the CEO would tell them they need to apply online? I don’t think so. If you see a position online, and are really interested in it, get a contact within the company – and have them introduce you to the hiring manager.

I need to send my resume to people if they’re going to help me with my job search. No you don’t! Who say’s so? Nobody, that’s who! You don’t need to send your resume to anyone. What you need to do is ask people for contacts and connections. And then you need to follow up on those and have actual real live conversations with people – without your past history (in the form of a resume) getting in the way. “But, they need to see my background.” No they don’t. Guess what. Nobody cares about your background. Nobody cares that you “Decreased costs by 15% while cutting staff by 30%.” Half the time, we don’t even understand the type of work you did. The other half, we’re not really all that impressed with your so-called accomplishments. But the good news is that we know people. And we can connect you to people. But we’re only going to connect you to people if you promise to quit waving your resume like a white flag in front of everyone’s faces…and learn how to be a real live human being who’s capable of a having a real live, engaging conversation.

They’re laying off people so they must not be hiring. You know what…while the company is getting rid of 20% of its workforce, about 80% that are still there are thinking “I might be next. I’d better start looking.” What’s the company going to do when those people in key positions leave on their own accord? Well, they’re going to replace them, that’s what. While HR thinks their only issue is planned attrition…they now have a new challenge…in the form of unplanned attrition. And do you think the hiring manager who was just left in the lurch is going to have the luxury of time – and a long, drawn out hiring process? No, they need to get this person replaced as soon as possible – with minimal interruption to the business. You’re the perfect person and you can start tomorrow. Great! You’re hired!

Just because they ask you a question doesn’t mean you have to answer it. Without being a downright liar (which I do not recommend at all!), there are ways to avoid answering a question you don’t feel like answering. My favorite question to not answer is the age-old “What are your weaknesses.” Usually what I want to say is “My incredible lack of tolerance for people who come up with stupid questions like that. That’s my weakness!” But I refrain…and turn that question into some really useful information for both of us. I say “Well, what I really don’t enjoy is routine, maintenance type work. So if you’re looking for someone to do the same thing every day, to implement a strategy that’s already been planned, I’m definitely not your person. On the other hand, if you’re looking for someone to figure out the strategy, to expand new markets, to build new businesses, and build the team to get us there, that’s where I excel and you’d be crazy not to have me on your team.”

This type of answer accomplishes a couple things. First, it tells them what makes me the wrong person for the job. Then, it tells them what makes me the right person for the job. Now, they can check off the box that I answered the question. Even though I really didn’t. I answered a different question that was never even asked. So what? I’m doing them a favor by either taking me out of the hunt, or putting me at the front of the pack.

Perhaps my own complete lack of preference in the Structural side of the brain makes it easy for me to disregard the rules. I’ve always thought “They certainly didn’t mean me when they made up that rule.  That line, oh that’s for the people who like lines…not me.” Try adopting that kind of mindset – at least while you’re in the job search. Think about what everyone else is going to do…and then do the opposite.

Does the job fair begin at 9am? Show up at 7:30am, go in the back entrance and get to know some people at your target company by helping set up their booth. Better yet, call the company putting on the event and offer to work the corporate registration table.

Does the website say apply online? Find someone who knows the hiring manager and get a meeting.

Does the person tell you to send them your resume? Tell them you’d love to…”but real quick, while I have you on the phone, let’s set up a time to meet.” And then bring the resume with you to the meeting – and don’t ever give it to them. But instead, find out who they know and who else you can get connected to.

Forget other people’s rules. Be your own boss! And make up your own rules! You might just find the process a lot more effective (and a little less frustrating).

Another overused job search phrase: “I’m willing to relocate”

Maybe you’re one of them.  One of those people who say “I’m in the job search and I’m willing to relocate.”  And maybe you’re one of those same people who continue to network in the city you’re already in.  No offense, but your strategy sucks!  The job you’re looking for in Philadelphia is not here in Los Angeles.  It’s in Philadelphia.  Are you looking to network with German companies in the Solar industry?  Then go to Germany and meet them!

Sometimes the old “I’m willing to relocate” line doesn’t come out until you’ve been in the search for a while.   You see, the longer you’re in the search, the larger the geographic target a search seems to encompass.  Often, I see people newly out of work…who come into a job search meeting and say “I want to work within a ten-mile radius of my house in Chicago.”  In some cities you can actually do that.  In others, not so much.  But here’s the thing.  After about a month of not finding anything within that ten-mile radius (and not looking all that hard in my opinion), the geographic scope begins to widen.  “I want to work within a 30-minute commute – which could be anything downtown or near the airport.”  Another month goes by, and then “I’ve decided to open up the scope to the greater Chicago area, including the North and West suburbs.”  Another month.  “Anywhere in the Midwest – within a one-hour plane flight from O’Hare.”  Another month goes by.  “I’m open to anything east of the Mississippi.”  Pretty soon, you’re down to “English-speaking countries or a place where I can find a translator.”

If you’re really interested and open to relocation, quit saying those magical words…I’m willing to relocate.  And start doing something that actually is magic.  Disappear.  I mean disappear to the cities in which you’re interested in relocating.

When I think about my own job search years ago, I was willing to relocate.  I remember flying to Philly for a job interview.   While there, I was told that two positions existed.  One in Philly and the other in Arizona – three traffic lights from my house.  Had I not been willing to relocate, I would’ve never learned of the position that was right in my own backyard.  That was about being open to the possibility of relocation.  But I wasn’t really decisive on my target cities.

Where I really erred was that I was too open on “where.”  The reality is that people are out of work in every city.  Why would I think I’m well-positioned or even somewhat positioned to get an interview – let alone land a job – halfway across the country – when I don’t even know what’s going on halfway across the country?  I was lucky to get the first meeting.

I had another opportunity in Chicago.  It was through a recruiter.  I knew the company.  If I was smart, I would’ve made my way out there, started networking, and meeting with all kinds of people in the industry.  Then, if that job hadn’t come through (which it didn’t, by the way), I might have networked my way into some other opportunities.  But instead, I tried to phone in my presence.  And that’s just not very smart.  No wonder they didn’t hire me!

I’m reading Team of Rivals right now…about Abraham Lincoln.  He was relatively unknown and ended up winning the Republican nomination (hopefully that’s not new news to you!).  One of his competitors, Samuel Chase, didn’t want to travel.  Instead, he spent most of his campaign in the comfort of his own living room.  Instead of visiting his potential constituents, he decided to write letters to as many people as he could (which, in today’s times, would be equivalent to shooting off a bunch of emails instead of having actual in-person conversations).  Whereas Lincoln spent all of his time traveling around, meeting people – basically networking!  When it came time to “hire” the candidate.  Guess which one got selected.  So, who are you more like?  Chase or Lincoln?

If I were to do it over again, I’d learn from all of this.  I’d do “willing to relocate” very differently.  Here’s what I recommend to those who are really willing to relocate:

• Target 2-3 cities where you really want to live.
• Subscribe to the local Business Journal and read every issue cover to cover.
• Identify networking events in those cities.  Pick a week where there are 3-4 events that you’re interested in attending.  Be sure to include Job Search networking events like Executives Network (www.executivesnetwork.com).
• Find people in your network that know people in those cities.  Get one-on-one networking meetings with them.  I’d bet those people know people.  They all have co-workers (current and previous), neighbors, friends and acquaintances.  Tap into their network.
• Book a flight…and to stay with a friend (save some $$).
• Fly out to target city, attend the networking and job search events – and hope to find out a couple more while you’re there.  Also, figure out what events are coming up that will require an additional trip.  Do your one-on-one meetings, and hope to get a few more while you’re there.
• Hang out at Starbucks while you’re in between meetings.  See if you might meet some other people.  Maybe even take a class while you’re there.  Get there early.  You’ll meet some locals and might make a new friend (who probably knows a couple people!).  See if any of the hotels have a national conference in town…hang out at their lobby bar during the evenings to meet people from the conference.
• Repeat this process each month until you end up there.

Are you really serious about being open to relocation?  Then you need to get really serious about relocating.  Quit talking about it and start doing something.  Get out there.  Find out what’s happening.  Quit using mental telepathy (or email) and start having actual, in-person conversations with people in those cities.  You’ll know you’re doing it right when no one realizes you’re from out of town.  And if you do end up moving there, you’ll already have some friends.  How’s that for a bonus?

Networking Pitfall: Lack of preparedness

Nothing’s worse than heading into a networking meeting without doing some sort of prep work.

I once had a meeting with a guy named David.  I walked into his office and saw a rather sizable aquarium (that looked like it was directed by Tim Burton – and could’ve used a little cleaning, by the way).  Fortunately, I had done my research and learned that David was a huge fan of fish and the aquarium concept. He belongs to some aquarium groups and regularly contributes to their discussion boards. 

If I hadn’t known this, I probably would’ve walked in, seen the aquarium and started into a diatribe of how I think aquariums and pet fish are the biggest waste of time and money ever.  I mean what’s interesting about staring at a fish in a murky container?  Oh look, its gills opened.  Oh, now it went under that rock.  Want to watch me feed it?  No, I don’t as a matter of fact.  What I’d prefer is to watch you not feed it.  Try that for many days in a row…and then see what happens. Maybe then you’ll clean that thing.  It’s disgusting and it smells!

That meeting could’ve been a catastrophe, but I did my research.  I held back, and didn’t dare go there…because that would do nothing to ingratiate myself to David.

If you have a meeting with someone, hopefully you’ve done some research to uncover a little bit more about the person, identify some common bonds, avert potential disasters.  At least do the basic things such as googling the person, reading a bio, finding out what community or charity events they partake in.  There’s really a fine line between being prepared and stalking, right?!

When you meet with the person, armed with so much knowledge about them, there’s no need to divulge it all.  Little things can be dropped into the conversation very casually.  I remember sitting in a job interview a few years back, and was meeting with a woman named Dana.  Prior to our meeting, I read her bio and saw that she was involved in a charity called Logopedics?  Never heard of it?  I’m not surprised.  In fact, no one has heard of it…other than those women who were in the sorority of Kappa Alpha Theta in college.  Immediately, I thought, she must be a Theta.  I checked the Alumna directory and sure enough, there was her name.  We shared that in common.

The first thing I said when we met was “Guess where I was this weekend?”  Given that we’d never even met before, she had no idea.  I said “I went to Grand Convention!  Can you believe it?”  I didn’t even mention the word Theta because I knew she’d know.  She replied “No…no I can’t believe it!”  I think what she couldn’t believe was the fact that I knew she was a Theta Alum.  I told her a little about the convention – and how impressed I was with the women I’d met.  Then, I asked her about her involvement in the local alum chapter.  We had a great conversation – which actually turned into a job offer.

I didn’t need to tell her how I knew.  I didn’t need to go into detail about the research.  I just put it out there, talked about it for a minute and then moved on.

What I like better than finding activities is finding people we both know.  Checking LinkedIn to find out who they know – that you know – is probably the easiest way.  But there are plenty of other ways.  Are they a coach on a little league baseball team?  Look at the team roster and figure out if you know any parents.  Are they on the board of a charity?  Check the rest of the board to see if you know anyone on the board.  Where did they used to work?  Do you know anyone at the old company?  Where do they live?  Maybe you know some of their neighbors?  What about college?  Maybe you know some of their classmates?

You’ll, be amazed what you find if you just do a little research. And you’ll be even more amazed at how you’re able to turn a good meeting into a great one simply because you took the time to find out a little about that person – and how much they love pet fish!

How do I transition into a new industry? Maybe it’s just pure luck.

As I’ve traveled throughout the country, attending our Executives Network Job Search Meetings, I realized that the same conversations were taking place regardless of city.  What they talked about in Chicago – they talked about in Silicon Valley.  The thoughts on people’s minds in Dallas were the same thoughts in Phoenix.  And that’s when I got the idea that we had to get everyone in the same “virtual” room and take the conversation further.

So, this week, Executives Network had its first national teleconference.  Lots of people around the country talking about a specific topic – in this case, Alternative Energy.  We wanted to answer questions like:  How do I transition into this industry? Who are the players?  What are the opportunities?  What can I learn from others targeting the same industry as me?

Michael Ludgate, an EN Member, was our featured guest.  He talked about how he successfully transitioned into the Solar industry.   What he DIDN’T do was sit at the computer and search for job postings all day.  What he DID do – took a little more effort, but was far more effective.

Michael networked his way to the job!  (I know, networking, big surprise!  You don’t think I’d feature anyone who got a job from a job posting?  Has anyone ever gotten a job from a posting at the higher levels?)

When he first decided to target Solar, he read up on the industry.  Then, he did the smartest thing a job seeker could do…and turned the computer off!  He got out and attended every solar and alternative energy event he could find.  He went to local get-togethers, regional meetings, national conferences.

A couple months into his search, he started sporting the nametag “Solar Mike” at every event.  His reputation soon grew – as someone obviously in the Solar industry.  Why else would he wear a nametag like that?  If people asked, he would just tell them he was really passionate about Solar.  After all, it’s only a nametag.

All told, he met with more than 200 people in the industry.  And it was through one of these meetings, with one of his target companies, that he landed the perfect job in Solar.  Do you think he was lucky?  Maybe.  But as my college friend, Maurice, always used to say “Luck comes to those who work hard to make it happen.”

Michael certainly worked hard to make his luck happen.

Michael had much to share with the group about the process of transitioning into Solar.  But three things he said struck me as great lessons for anyone – regardless of the industry you’re pursuing:

• Some will.  Some won’t.  So what.  Some people will be very helpful.  In fact you’ll be surprised how much people will help you.  On the other hand, some won’t be helpful at all.  So what.  Move on.
• Never underestimate the power of someone else’s network.  Every time you’re given a lead, pursue those opportunities.  You have no idea who these people know – or who their network knows.  Pursue all leads diligently.  The lead you never followed up on could’ve been the one that led you to your dream job.  Can you afford to chance it?
• “I’m one networking contact away from finding my dream job.”  Continue to motivate and reinforce your networking effort by reminding yourself just that!  Remember, you don’t need to find ten jobs, you just need to find one.  The right one.

If you’re planning to transition to another industry, then do yourself a favor, and get relevant.  Get embedded in that industry.  Get to know the companies.  Get to know the players.  Arm yourself with knowledge and contacts so that, despite the fact that you have no industry experience, you know what’s going on.

Just remember, the more people you talk to, the more information you’ll find, the more companies you’ll discover, the more opportunities you’ll uncover.  Put in some serious effort – and increase your odds of being truly lucky!

Guess how many people want to hear your job search story? The one where you talk about the fact that you were laid off.

Last week, I was talking to four different people who are out of work.  This is nothing unusual because my business is working with people who are out of work.  Two of them felt some pressing need to tell me in painstaking detail how they came to be in their current situation.  The other two decided to share with me – yet again – an aspect of how great they were at their previous job and how others at the company couldn’t believe that they were let go. 

I hate to tell you this.  But I must.  I’ve had enough!  I’ve heard enough!  Quit sharing your story with me.  Quit sharing the story of how you were terminated, let go, laid off, fired, RIF’d, downsized…whatever you want to call it.  Quit bringing up anything remotely related to the concept that you’re no longer there.  You know who wants to hear that story?  No one.  That’s right.  No one!  Your family doesn’t want to hear it…for the millionth time.  Your friends don’t want to hear it…for the thousandth time.  And strangers don’t want to hear it…for the first time.  We get it.  You’re available.

Now, before you think I’m some unsympathetic, uncaring, downright mean person (it may be too late!)…let me explain. 

Every time you bring up your story, you’re bringing up the negative feelings associated with it.  No matter how much you say it doesn’t matter…you sound bitter.  No matter how much you say you’re glad you’re not there anymore…you sound angry.  No matter how much you say you’re better off…you come across sounding just a little bit insecure.

Maybe you’re all of these.  Maybe the company really did a number on you.  Regardless of how it happened, you probably need to go through the stages of grief.  And it’s okay.  You’re not alone.  Many others have been there before…and will go there again.  Here are the common stages of grief you might be going through:

• Denial.  This isn’t happening to me!  I was the best employee.  No one at the company could believe it.
• Anger.  Why is this happening to me?  Someone needs to pay!  I need to talk to an employment attorney.
• Bargaining.  I promise I’ll [fill in the blank] if I could only land a job.  Lots of praying in this stage.
• Depression.  I don’t know if I’ll ever find a job.  I used to be a somebody. 
• Acceptance.  I’m ready for whatever comes.  I’m going to be okay.  I had a great job before and I will again.  It may take longer than I expected.  I may have to get real creative when it comes to expenses.  I may have to work a little harder at it, but the right position will come to me.

I’m not suggesting you go through this all alone.  I’m simply recommending that you quit bringing up the negative feelings of the past.  Quit sharing your story with everyone you know.  They feel bad for you.  They have pity on you.  They’re scared to invite you to their party – because you may bring the whole party down.   Quit sharing your story with everyone you meet.  You’re making them uncomfortable!  They don’t know you from Adam…and all of a sudden you hit them with the biggest challenge you have in life today.  Yikes!  Why don’t you ease into the relationship with something a little more positive (and less personal)?

Make a decision today that you’re going to get over the past (or at least quit talking about it!).  You’re going to realize that you’re not the first person to lose a job.  And you certainly won’t be the last.  Make a decision that you’ll go through the grief – in the comfort of your own home.  And then make a decision that today is the day your life will begin fresh.  You are meant for great things.  You are destined for great opportunities.  You’re a fantastic, incredible person that has much to offer a company.  You will find the right position…not within the confines of your home (remember, that’s where you left grief for the night!).  You will find the right position by getting out there, meeting new people, and having interesting conversations.  And when you do that, amazingly, the right opportunity is going to come knocking on your door.  Answer it!