Input and feedback for your job search. Are you really open to it?

Sometimes I’m hard on people.  That doesn’t always make me popular.  But the thing of it is, I have really high expectations of people, and I fully expect them to deliver according to their capabilities – and beyond.

A few years ago, I went to a personal coach.  I went in thinking our conversation would be more career focused, but like most great coaching, it always comes back to you.  At one point, I was telling him about someone I used to date and how he could give such criticism that would make people cry.  Honestly, I felt so bad for them, but I felt bad for me too, because I was with the guy who complete disregard for others feelings.  “And why do you care?” he said.  “Because I want people to like me.  Why, oh why, do I care so much that people like me?”

That’s when he started talking about authenticity and the circle of pain/circle of gain.  If you’re authentic, you’ll attract the right people (and repulse the wrong people), which leads you to staying true to who you are, being happy with yourself, forming a circle of gain.  If you’re not authentic, you’ll attract the wrong people (and repulse the right people), thereby causing undue stress and anxiety, and cause you to be in a continuous circle of pain.

One day my yoga teacher got mad at me.  He made me cry.  Was I mad at him?  No.  It hurt.  I felt bad, but I really appreciated him for being truly authentic.  He says exactly what he thinks and if it hurts me, well, then, that’s my problem (assuming it’s not vindictive – which it never is).  And I know that if he ever tells me something, it’s truly authentic.

It got me thinking about people in the job search.  I go to job search meetings quite often, and I’m hard on people.  I know I am.  But, when it comes down to it, that’s just me being authentic.  I care so much.  I’m passionate about you finding the right job. I want you to be as great as the possibly can.  And I know you have it in you! 

Sometimes people aren’t taking the right approach (right – being the approach that lands them a job), not because they don’t want to, but because they don’t know any better.  I mean, really, who shows up at our meeting saying “I have ten years in technology, five years in medical devices, and most of my background is in job search, because I’ve been out of work most of my life.”  No one, that’s who.

So, it’s forgivable that you may not know any better.  It’s forgivable that something that seems so obvious to someone with a little experience in the job search might not seem so obvious to you.  Give yourself a break.

But here’s where the break ends.  Next time someone offers you some advice, especially in a time like this, and especially in a forum like a job-search networking group, it might be a sign for you to stop and listen.  It might be a sign to disarm the defenses and just be open to the input.  Even if it startles you just a little.  Even if it seems so very counterintuitive to you.  Even if it sends you down a path that you never considered going.  Maybe there was a reason you were put in that room.  Maybe you needed to hear that input.  Maybe that day was the day your job search truly began.  Maybe, just maybe, with one word of feedback combined with some encouragement (and a contact or two), you’re headed forward toward success like you’ve never dreamed of.

Get smart about your search.  Be open to the input.  And live up to the expectations that you, and others, have of you…and deliver beyond your capabilities.  You know you can!

How can you get more referrals for your business?

A couple months ago, I partially tore my right hamstring.  This was nothing compared to what I did to my left hamstring two years ago – where I completely tore the hamstring from the bone.  How did this happen?  Nothing fancy really, I was just helping my niece learn to ride a two-wheeler.  At first, it wasn’t a problem, because she didn’t pedal very fast.  All of a sudden, her confidence building, she took off.  I was running as fast as I could (while bent halfway over – trying to maintain a hold onto the seat to keep her upright).  Not but a few seconds later, I heard the tear…and felt the pain.

About three weeks prior to doing this, a friend told me about ART (Active Release Therapy).  It’s a method to speed up healing.  After the tear, I thought, I really don’t have time to be injured.  I found Dr. Nathan Campbell – a sports therapist/ART practitioner.  He’s a chiropractor as well, and while I’m not a fan of chiropractic (as I believe that a steady yoga practice will do all that chiropractic does – and more!), I set an appointment.  Long story short (too late, right?!), in less than two months, my hamstring feels healed, I’m back to doing everything I did before…plus.

As Dr. Campbell was working on my hamstring we started talking about his business.  I asked him how he got his clients.  Mostly through referral, he said, but he’s also in a networking group that meets weekly.   Now I had even more questions.  How long have you been in it?  How often do you meet?  How many clients have you gotten from the group? 

He’s been in it more than a year.  He meets weekly for 1½ hours (not including drive time), and he’s gotten a whopping five clients.

And that’s about the time I freaked out!

WHHHHHAAAAAATTTTTT???????  What are you thinking?  Do you realize you’ve just spent more than 70 hours of your life producing five clients?  Do you have any idea how much that’s cost you?  Give me five hours and I’ll find you five clients.  Because really, everyone I know has some type of injury that could probably be healed with ART.  Just hang out with a bunch of weekend warriors and you’ve got a client base for life, right?

That’s when we started talking about the value of networking, and approaching it from a more efficient standpoint.  Too many people do the activities that others do – thinking they’ll get the same results.  When, maybe, they should question the effectiveness of the results to begin with.

Now I’m not knocking these weekly referral groups (or maybe I am?), but if I’m in a group and I’m not getting at least one lead a week, then I’m hanging out with the wrong referral group.  In turn, if I’m in a group, and I’m not giving at least one lead a week to the majority of people in that group, I’m not an effective referral source for these people.  And my seat at the table should go to someone else.

Everyone in that group is looking for leads, and should have the attitude that they give a lot and get a lot.  Most people I know who join groups like this though, have the same experience as Dr. Campbell.  I used to work with a national site selection company for meeting planners.  At that time, the big trend for all of the salespeople was to join one of these referral groups.  I think one person actually got one lead from their group – and the concept spread like wildfire throughout the country.  But over and over, I saw the same results.  Lots of hours spent driving to and attending these meetings, and not a lot of business to show for it.

Honestly, when you do the math, and look at the return on investment, you’re probably better off standing outside the grocery store wearing a sandwich board – catching a draft from the Girl Scout’s cookie sale.

So, how do you do it?  How do you get leads, if not from a lead referral group?  Leads are like air.  They’re everywhere.  But unlike air, they’re not a free commodity.  You have to build the relationship.  You have to earn the right.

I get a lot of phone calls from people trying to tap into Executives Network – and sell their services.   Over and over, I let them know that we’re not the right fit for their sales pitch.  But here’s the funny thing.  For every person that calls, if I really thought about it, most likely I could come up with five people – be it friends, colleagues, acquaintances – who could probably benefit from their services.  If they built a relationship with me, I just might be inclined to send business their way.  But instead, most of them hang up and I never hear from them again.

It reminds me of a rookie football player.  You don’t show up in the beginning of football season and simply play in the Superbowl.  You have to earn it week in and week out.  Each successful week brings you that much closer to making the playoffs – and continued success finds you the star of the most-watched sporting event on television. 

Quit trying to go for the big win before you’ve ever played a game.

Start with building a relationship one-on-one.  How do you start building a relationship?  Go to a networking event that would include logical referral types.  Are you an accountant, hang out with some lawyers (and vice versa).  Are you in HR consulting?  Start attending CFO oriented events.  Are you in the consumer space, depending on your target market, go to those big home shows, art fairs, and grocery stores. 

Get involved in a charity.  Get involved in an association.  Start a meetup oriented around something in which you have interest.  Do something to get with like-minded people who you can build the foundations of a relationship.  And then, once you have those relationships, you’ll be on much firmer ground to get help in your business.  Your newfound friends really want to help you succeed. 

You’ve heard it said, “People buy from people they like.”  Well, people refer people they like too!  Get engaged.  Get connected.  Build relationships.  And hold on for the ride.  Just make sure my neice and her two-wheeler aren’t at the helm!

How do you become indispensable to your current (or future) employer?

I was talking to Jeff, my PR guy, the other day.  I couldn’t understand why it was so difficult to get on the news in New York (pay no mind that it’s the number one TV market in the country).  Jeff is good at what he does.  In fact, he’s one of the best PR people I’ve met (and I’ve met a lot of them).  But, as I sat there strategizing with him, I wondered aloud, “Jeff, why do people hire one salesperson over another?”  Sensing the rhetorical nature of my question, he hesitated, “Because they’re better at selling?”  Sure, that’s one answer.  They have to be good at selling.  That’s the bar for entry.  Assuming you have some semblance of selling skills (which seem harder and harder to come by), what’s the one thing that will set you apart from every other candidate out there?  Your rolodex.

And that’s when it struck me.  Having the skill set for your functional area is really just the bar for entry.  It’s your rolodex that makes or breaks you.  I told Jeff that, while he was good, if he wanted to be really great, he needed to get a better rolodex.  Instead of trying to pitch the media, he needed the ability to make one or two phone calls, get connected with the right person, and then use his PR pitch skills to perfection to get me on TV in New York.

I started thinking about the other professionals I deal with.  Recently, we had an issue with a hotel overcharging us.  Instead of sending it back to me to handle, I would’ve much preferred my financial accounting firm to already have the relationship with the hotel, deal with the situation, and let me know when it was handled.  If we had a really big problem, I would fully expect them to call Marriott corporate (or whichever brand we’re using) and deal with their contacts in finance.  Now that would be valuable.  And that would set them apart from every other firm.

What makes you valuable?  Your work ethic?  Your competence?  Your experience?  Sure.  But what makes you indispensable?  Your relationships. 

Your relationships give you the ability to get a meeting, get a resolution, get a credit, get a favor…with just one phone call.  That saves you time, and saves us money!

I met with a lawyer recently.  Unlike most attorneys I know, this one said, “We can do the transactional work for you – just like any other law firm.  But, my goal is to add value to your business.  I want to help you with strategy.  I know a lot of people that could provide incredible resources to you.  Resources in the form of influencers, customers, investors and advisors.  I want to help you identify new businesses that set you up for incredible success.”  Who wouldn’t want that person aligned with their business?

Three months prior to entering the world of commercial real estate, I knew pretty much no one in the industry.  Within 90 days, I met face-to-face with more than 60 people.  Additionally, I built other relationships.  I went to a commercial real estate conference in Las Vegas and met even more people (again, this was before I was even in the business).  I started to build a strategy around the idea that if I already had relationships with potential customers before I ever got hired, I’d be a far more valuable employee.

I also learned was that some of the most valuable relationships I built were with other brokers.  Because if you already have a relationship with the broker on the other side of the table, you can bring more value to your client.

You might be thinking, but I’m not generally in a role that is customer-oriented.  Keep in mind, every role is customer oriented…because without customers, who needs employees, right??

If you’re in IT, build a relationship with not only the vendor of your products you support, but also other customers who are running those applications.  Microsoft recently came out with a really interesting program for early stage companies.  I sure wish my IT provider told me about it.  Instead, I found out about it from someone at Microsoft who works in Corporate Development.

Are you in HR?  Instead of getting the job, and then figuring out the best health insurance plan to go with, why don’t you meet with people from all of the plans and find out when and why you’d go with one versus the other?  Then, once you’re on the job, you’ve just saved you (and the company) from spending time figuring out something you really should have already known.  And you know who to work through to get the job done.

Are you in supply chain?  You know what would make you really valuable?  Understanding how other industries manage their supply chain.  Understanding the cutting edge technologies they’re using.  And I’m not just talking about reading up on it.  I mean actually building relationships with those players.  They’re going to tell you things that you’ll never see in a book or article.  Then, you’ll be able to figure out how to not make just iterative steps, but truly transformational change in the way your supply chain operates.  And then, when you run into a problem at your own company, you’ll know who to call.

Obviously you can’t know everyone, but certainly you can know someone.

I could go on and on with every functional area.  But I won’t.  All I’ll say is, if you think you know enough people.  You don’t.  If you think you’re well connected in your area of expertise, then think about the other relationships you need to build.  Who are your customer’s customers?  Who are your customer’s suppliers?  Who are your customer’s service providers?  How do you build relationships with them to bring more value to the table?

Deliver on the skills.  Deliver on the relationships.  And be truly indispensable.

And, maybe someone could help me out.  If you know anyone in the media in New York, please let me know.  It will be my way of bringing more value to Jeff!

Are you getting lousy job search advice…and listening to it? Why???

I was speaking with Nancy the other day.  She’s looking for a top Human Resources role.  I couldn’t believe what bad advice she got from someone trying to help her in her job search.  Pick the top five companies you want to work for (this is not the bad advice part), find out the key executives, and then cold call them to build relationships.  WHAT?  Are you back in the ‘80s?  Since when did cold-calling make a resurgence?  Who has the time to dial for dollars?  How many people are you really going to reach?  Most importantly, who wants to be on the other end of that phone call?

I asked Nancy why she was doing this. In so many words, she said she didn’t know what else to do.  Nancy, what was it like for you when you were on the receiving end of calls like this?  Did you listen to the person intently with your complete and undivided attention?  As you listened so carefully, were you so fascinated by their background that you invited them into your office to spend more time?  Did you follow this exchange with an incredibly generous offer letter – because you just couldn’t believe the person you didn’t know you were looking for just interrupted your busy day with a call, you took it, and now your hiring needs are solved?

Or, did you wonder at all if they heard your keyboard tapping incessantly – or was the speaker far enough away – as you did your best to politely hurry off the phone so you could get back to work?

More often than not, it was probably the latter.  So what makes you so special that for some crazy reason they’ll take your call, followed by an interview and an offer?

Here’s the thing that really strikes me though.  Nancy is Fantastic (with a capital F)!  The first time I met her, I thought to myself, this is someone who is incredible at her job.  She’s dynamic, engaging, smart, thoughtful and results-oriented.  If I were hiring someone to run HR for a large organization, I’d hire her in a heartbeat.  After a couple of minutes (maybe even a couple of seconds) with her, I don’t think it would take long for a CEO of a large corporation to figure that out.

But instead of putting herself in those situations – the ones where she could be interacting with the CEO of a large corporation.  Instead of making herself visible in all the right circles.  Instead of using her natural talents to help her land the next gig, she’s listening to some stupid advice from someone who may be a very nice person, but doesn’t appear to know the first thing about getting a job in today’s economy.

After listening to all of this, I finally asked Nancy, “Are you an in-person person?  Because you seem very much like one to me.”  She said she was.  Case closed.  From now on, you are going to take your natural in-person person talent and use it in your job search.  No longer will you hide behind the phone or email.  You’re not going to land because you called someone at the right time.  You’re going to land because someone meets you and likes you and sees what I saw.

Nancy is not the first in-person person I know who has struggled with their job search.  And she won’t be the last.  The mistake most people make is that they don’t adapt their search to their own personal style.  Nancy needs to get out and meet people – because when they meet her, they like her, and will want to hire her (assuming you make a great first – and lasting impression – by not talking about yourself, but instead ask smart questions of others).

Now, this is not an excuse for those of you who say “I’m not good at networking.  I’m better hiding behind my computer, and that’s my personal style.”  You know what companies need right now?  They need people who can communicate effectively.  It’s written on virtually every job description you can find.  Right there at the bottom – just before “other duties as assigned.”  The operative word here is “effectively.”  A well-worded email may be clearly written and without typos, but it’s not necessarily effective.  It only becomes effective when the person on the receiving end not only reads it, but also interprets everything you say precisely as you meant it.  Of course, this assumes the email didn’t get mistakenly filtered out by the latest SPAM detection software.

What companies don’t need are people who sit behind their desk all day, and think that email is now a proxy for real live discussions.  But wait, what about a phone call?  Isn’t that an interactive conversation?  Sure it is (sometimes!), but there’s something about meeting someone face-to-face that really brings home the relationship.  Mail-order brides and arranged marriages aside, how many people do you know made the commitment to be in life-long relationships without ever having met in person?  How many people do you know hired someone they never met in person?  Is it the majority?  Is it common?  Is that how people are going to hire in today’s economy?  No.  No.  No.

You must know – if you’ve read even a couple of my blogs – that I’m a big believer that you’re never going to find something unless you get out there and network. 

If you’re an in-person person, then get out there and be in-person with people.  If you’re a behind-the-scenes type person, then you better hope that your previous boss loves you and wants to bring you along to every company s/he goes to.  If your boss got laid off like the rest of the division, you’d better start facing reality and get comfortable with the idea that you may need to practice your networking skills – and become that in-person person (at least for a little while) in order to land the right opportunity.

Your Job Search: Why it’s so difficult to see all that you can truly be.

Andy showed up at our Executives Network meeting today.  It seemed like his job search was headed toward life support and needed it little resuscitation.  He started talking about his background.  Time in the aluminum industry was followed by a few years in printing.  After I heard that, I thought, “Please let him say that he spent some time in the plastics industry.  Please, please, please.”  It’s almost as though I channeled it, because sure enough the next words out of his mouth were, “And then I spent some time in the plastics industry.” 

From there, he began talking about how difficult it was to find a job with his background because he has a limited geographic focus and those industries weren’t exactly thriving.  He continued on for a little bit, but I didn’t really hear him.  I was so excited for his new life I could barely contain myself.  I interrupted him mid-sentence “Stop! Stop, Andy! Stop!  I don’t need to hear any more.  I don’t even need to hear what you think you want to do.  Because I know exactly what you need to do!  You are so perfectly positioned for this industry – it almost seems like you planned it from the beginning.  One word:  Recycling.”

Andy’s virtually the triple crown of recycling.  He’s Mine That Bird and Rachel Alexandra all in one!  No, I take that back.  He’s Calvin Borrell!! (Hopefully this statement is still accurate on Monday!)

Andy went on to tell us that he also had a great global background.  Andy, you were really interesting before, now you are the cat’s meow!!  Think about recycling.  Think about who’s at the forefront (hint, it’s not the U.S.!!).  He could figure out what’s going on globally and bring it back to the U.S.  Or, he could work for a company based in the one of the countries with the highest rates of recycling – Japan, Sweden, Switzerland or Germany – and apply the principles, techniques and technologies they use – in his own backyard.  He has the unique ability to take three maybe-not-dying-but-certainly-not-thriving industries – and turn that experience into one where the opportunity will only continue to grow.  Who says three wrongs don’t make a right?

This is a reminder to everyone who is trying to do their job search alone.  Sometimes you are so mired in the muck that you can’t get out and see the opportunities in front of you.  Sometimes, even if you are getting input from others, you’re still clinging so desperately to the past that you can’t get your arms around what could be the future.

One of the biggest values of coming to a meeting where people are focused on helping each other one by one is the different perspectives of everyone in the room.  Think about what Oliver Wendell Holmes said “The mind, stretched to a new idea, never goes back to its original dimension.”  Because people are from different functional area and different industries, they can come up with possibilities that you hadn’t thought of and never will.  And through this personal brainstorming session about you and your job search, one person can come up with an idea – which leads to a thought from someone else – which leads to another thought… and next thing you know, your job search has new life, new energy, new possibilities.

So many people say they’re open to something different, yet they turn their nose at new ideas that might lead to new opportunities.  I’m still waiting an EN Member named Mike to investigate a new industry based on his skill set in product development in the banking industry.  I just know there could be something there for him.  But he’s so focused waiting for the doors to reopen that just about hit him in the rear on his way out, he can’t see that they might never be unlocked for him again.  And then, in six months, where is he going to be?  Still on the outside looking in.

If you are in the job search and are not putting yourself in environments where people can help you brainstorm, you need to get into those.  If you are in those environments, but you’re not coming up with new ideas – then perhaps you need to get out of those groups – and find new ones that will get you there.  And finally, if you’re listening to other’s ideas and not at least entertaining or investigating them, you may be missing out on the biggest opportunity of all.

But, what if someone gives you an idea and it’s not something in which you have the least bit of interest?  That’s okay to not investigate it.  That’s okay to say it’s not your thing.

When I was looking for a job, people kept suggesting I take a look at PetSmart (I think back then, it was called PetsMart).  But, I wasn’t open to that.  The thing of it is, I’m not really a pet person.  Granted, we had pets growing up and I loved them, and my sisters have dogs which I love and will certainly pet and play with when I’m visiting.  But I won’t seek them out.  Someone will pass me on the street with a dog.  My friend, Wendy, will go up to the dog – hug it, pet it, make friends with it.  I, on the other hand, will cross the street to avoid any possible encounter with the dog (let’s just say I got scared by a dog almost every day at an early age and bit by a dog when I was older).  Anyway, the prospect of working with people who are passionate, and I mean PASSIONATE, about pets is not a great environment for me.  No matter what the compensation.  When people mentioned anything to do with the pet industry I said, “Thanks, but no thanks.  It’s not my thing”

But if you don’t have a real aversion to it, then you owe it to yourself to check it out.  You owe it to others in the room to be open to their input (at least feign some interest!).  If you’re always shutting down the ideas that come forward, pretty soon, the ideas from others will stop coming.  And then, you’ll be right back where you began – mired in the muck of your own search.

Show up.  Be open to the possibilities.  Investigate them by truly making an effort.  (That means more than one phone call before you check it off the list as a dead end.)  And truly breathe new life into your job search that you thought was about to flatline.

Dear Family: Thanks, but no thanks, for your help in my job search.

This is an open letter to all of the wives, husbands, boyfriends, girlfriends, siblings, parents, grandparents, in-laws, children and any other relative of someone who’s in the job search.

I’ve got news for you! You’re not helping!!

It’s hard enough to be looking for a job. I’m the one with the pressure of finding the right thing. I’m the one who has that inner turmoil of going after the same old position, knowing full well I’m doing it just to make you happy. I’m the one who wakes up every day knowing I still don’t have a job. I’m the one who has to put up with your constant reminders of what I already know. Being out of work is not easy. And you don’t make it any easier by getting involved in my job search.

Here’s how you get involved:

The constant nagging. The questions. How many resumes did you send out today? Did you get any calls today? Did you get any interviews today? Did you get any job offers today?

No. No. No. No. And you know what? If I got any of those today, guess who’d be the first person I would tell. That’s right, you. I would be so excited that I’d share the news with you personally. Without delay!

The guilt-ridden statements. “Don’t you need to be online looking for a job?” “Shouldn’t you make some calls instead of watching SportsCenter all day?” “Daddy, we liked it better when you were working.” Guess what, kids, so did I. So did I. But right now, I’m going to appreciate the fact that I get to spend just a little more time with you.

The opportunities you find for me. I often see people get involved in their spouse’s job search. And I mean get involved. Sometimes, it comes in the form of the want-ads with a few positions highlighted. Sometimes, it’s a dinner you schedule, so I can meet “Pat’s spouse – the one who just got promoted to COO.” Sometimes it’s asking all of your friends – and sometimes perfect strangers – if they can help with my job search. What you’re telling everyone is that I’m incompetent. You don’t realize it, but you really are. Please stop!

You come with me to networking functions.  This is different than a function where it’s normal to bring your spouse. This is the type where people go straight from work (or during work) and virtually no one is with their spouse or significant other, except you. It always pains me to see a couple show up at a networking function together. Because, the reality is, you all act differently when your spouse is not around. You’re not as fun. You’re not as interesting. You’re not as lively. Save us all and leave the better half at home!

I met a woman at one of these functions about a year ago. Her husband had been in the job search for eight months. She was going nuts. (He probably was too, I thought.) When she heard that I worked with people in the job search, she immediately said “You have to help my husband find a job.” I told her about the Executives Network meeting. She asked if I thought she should bring him to one. I told her no. Don’t bring him to it. Let him go on his own. On his first day at work, are you going to escort him to work and set up his office?

My advice to all of you who have a family member in the job search. M Y O B!  That’s right.   Mind Your Own Business! 

But, you say, it’s our family – it IS my business. It’s our livelihood. It’s affecting the rest of us. Yes, I know it is. But it’s going to affect you to an even greater degree if you’re so difficult to live with that they decide it’s better to live without you.

This job search thing is temporary. Trust me. It’s temporary. It may be lasting longer than you expect. It may be lasting longer than they expect. But let’s hope your relationship is not the temporary kind. Setbacks like this truly test your relationship. If you can’t get through something like this, good luck with the hard stuff, like a major illness.

Here’s what you need to do:

Back off. Let me do my job search in peace. Let me have my own working environment at home – without distraction – no dog, no kids, no company. Just because I’m home during the days – working on my job search – doesn’t mean I’m available to do all of the household tasks. In fact, if you want me to do all of those, don’t expect me to get a job anytime soon.

Be supportive. When I want to attend a networking function in the evening, let me go peacefully without including the guilt trip. Better yet, plan your own night out so I don’t have an excuse to sit at home with you.

I remember talking to Ted about a function. I asked him if he planned to attend. It was a great opportunity to meet all of the people he needed to know for his search. But Ted couldn’t go. He had plans with his wife to have dinner. The same wife he had dinner with yesterday, and they day before, and the day before. And probably the same one he’ll have dinner with tomorrow. Ted’s an idiot. This was THE place. This was THE function. And no offense to Ted’s wife, whom I’m certain must be a terrific person, but you ruined it! And you wonder why Ted’s still looking?

Do your thing. Live your life as if we’re not in this situation – with one exception. Watch the expenses. Help me by adjusting your lifestyle too. Financial stress stands alone as the number one challenge with job search (obviously, right!). Don’t add to it by continuing to go through life as if our financial situation hasn’t changed.

And here’s what I need to do:

 I will treat my job search like a job. That means I’ll have a plan of attack. I may not have been so assertive before, but I will be now. I’ll determine my focus, do my research and figure out with whom I need to meet. Each week I will determine what I need to do to advance the ball for my search. I will hold myself accountable.

I will look for opportunities that enable me to be a more active participant in the family. I’ll work at my daughter’s school – and help out in her kindergarten class once a week. And if all they have me do is stand in the office and make copies – without having interaction with my daughter or any other adults – I probably won’t go back. I’ll volunteer to assist coaching their sports teams – or drive them to their debate team match (and while I’m there, I’ll network with the other parents).

I will proactively give you an update. This could be in the form of a monthly meeting or a simple, “Hey, here’s where I’m at on the job front.” I know that you need this information to make you feel like something’s happening.

I will evaluate any potential offers carefully. Just because I get an offer doesn’t mean I’m going to take it. If I decide it’s not a great fit, please don’t try to convince me otherwise. But know that I will be very open to the opportunities and ensure it works for us as a family.

I once got an offer to run marketing for a technology firm. It was a small firm – and I was the silver bullet that would save the company. This coveted offer came in 1 ½ years into my job search. The pay was about 40% less than I had made previously. My family said “Take it!” But I didn’t. I couldn’t. How motivated would I be going to a job every day feeling like they weren’t paying me what I was worth? I wasn’t 100% confident the company was even going to survive. As it turns out, they went out of business soon after. I would have invested a lot of time and energy only to find myself exactly where I was – right in the middle of another job search.

A couple of months later, I ended up taking a job that paid less than a third of what I used to make. But it also came with the opportunity to make significantly more than I had ever made. See, it wasn’t about the money. It was about finding the right fit.

_______________

We all know it’s frustrating to stand on the sidelines and watch someone go through a challenging job search. But being an armchair quarterback is not going to help win any games or popularity contests. It’s only going to create additional stress, frustration and resentment. Let’s make a pact. Let’s let me be an adult and take my job search seriously – with a plan and accountability. And let’s let you go back to focusing on your responsibilities. And know that once this is over, we’re going to celebrate in a big way!! And we’re going to appreciate that next job just a little bit more!

The email you can’t wait to send. The one that says “I landed a GREAT job!!”

I received an email today from Bob, one of our Executives Network Members.  He just landed a GREAT JOB!  Congratulations Bob!  You deserve it!! 

How did he do it?  By changing his approach.

For all of you who are getting a little down in your search, I thought his email might provide you with some inspiration (and perhaps a lesson to be learned).

Date:         5/5/09
To:            Molly Wendell
From:         Bob
Subject:     LANDED!!!!!!!!

Molly,
I can’t thank you and Executive Networks enough for everything you did to help me with my job search. I thoroughly enjoyed every meeting I went to and your workshop was outstanding. You were absolutely right when you said “less e-mail and more phone calls.” Sitting behind my computer didn’t get me a single meeting with a live person. No Starbucks, breakfast, lunch, snack…..NO NOTHING. It did one thing for me….BROUGHT ME DOWN!!!  Your message to get out from behind my desk and start meeting people resonated and made all the difference. I also stopped e-mailing and started calling, and it’s amazing how much better I felt about myself and my prospects for finding a job.

I’ve been actively seeking my next career opportunity since January 2009, and last Friday, May 1st, I signed a contract with an 18 month old Information Technology Services start-up to be their VP of Sales and build a sales organization for them. It was a 10-12 week process but I persevered and got the job. I learned so much by attending the meetings and the workshop, and gained confidence I wouldn’t otherwise have had if I hadn’t participated in all the networking opportunities and other events.

I am living proof that networking does work. This wasn’t a posted position and never was going to be a posted position. A casual conversation I had with a former business associate and friend led to my receiving a phone call the very next day from one of the founders of this start-up company asking me if I had some time to talk. If I hadn’t reached out to catch up with someone I hadn’t spoken to in more than  6 months I wouldn’t be writing this e-mail today.

So thank you again for everything you did for me and everything you do for those who are in transition.

To all the members who are in transition and having a tough time I say to you stay the course and be true to yourself…..AND, follow Molly’s guidance because “IT WORKS IF YOU WORK IT.”

YOU ARE THE BEST!!!!!!

Warmest regards,
Bob

How do you re-energize yourself when you’re hitting that job search wall?

When I was a senior in college, I decided to run the Los Angeles Marathon.  I ran fairly regularly, did my weekend 20-mile training runs, and followed a workout and diet pretty religiously.  Race day was fast approaching.  I felt like I was ready.  I was wearing my favorite shorts, t-shirt and sweatshirt.  Walkman in hand (remember those pre-iPod days?), the gun sounded, and off I went, .2 miles into a 26.2 mile race.  I had set some goals for my split times and was meeting them with ease – on track to complete the race in about 3 ½ hours.  Things were going smoothly.  Right up to mile 22, I was just sailing through, feeling great.  Then all of a sudden, it hit me.  Or rather I hit it.  The wall.  The infamous wall.  As much as I’d heard about this so-called wall – that feeling of elation followed immediately of desperation, and the inability to go on – I never really could grasp the concept until it happened to me.  And now I get it.  And it’s a feeling like nothing I’d ever experienced.  And hadn’t since.  Until, I found myself in a longer-than-anticipated job search.

One week, you’re headed down the path.  And things are going great.  The next, all of your prospects have seemingly dried up and you’ve hit the proverbial wall.  Welcome to the marathon of today’s job search.  How do you recover?  How do you power through and finish the race?  How do you re-energize yourself when your body is tired and your mind is in agreement?

Some say in a marathon, the physical effort is tremendous, but it’s the mental effort that will carry you across the finish line.  And the same holds true for job search.

Here are some tips to help you re-energize a stagnant or wall-induced job search.

Venture down a new path.  Look at some other industries and see what might be exciting.  Get networked in those industries.  Talk to people.  Find out who’s who.  Figure out whether this is an industry in which you want to be a part.  Don’t be so focused on the fact that you have to find a job tomorrow.  How many opportunities are you going to miss out on because you took a little detour?  In today’s economy, probably not many.  How many new opportunities will you identify because you decided to venture down another path?  You just might be pleasantly surprised!

Venture down your current path – with a twist.  I was talking to Fred today.  He’s focused on Biotechnology.  He knows a lot of people in this area.  Too many people perhaps?  His challenge is that he’s talked to everyone he knows, and doesn’t know what to do now.  Fred needs to re-invigorate his search.  Part of me thinks…Hey Fred, Biotechnology is a BIG industry.  What are the segments within Biotech?  A quick google search and I found 9 segments within Biotech.  Breaking these down further, I found another 54 sub-segments that Fred could investigate.   Fred needs to take a look at those sub-segments he’s already familiar with…and start to tackle the other ones.  Because he’s a “Biotech” guy, he’ll have a better chance of transitioning into one of those sub-segments than someone who has no background in Biotech.

Get some help.  If you’re doing your job search alone, you are missing out.  Call on fellow job seekers for help.  If you have the benefit of outplacement, go to the office and spend time with others.  Attend the presentations.  Participate in the Work Teams.  If you’re not part of a Work Team (also called Accountability Teams), then find one and join it.  If you can’t find one, get some fellow job seekers and create your own.  And I’m not talking about getting together for a pity party.  I’m talking real work teams – people who can and will hold you accountable for your job search.  Whatever you do, don’t try to do this job search alone!  This is not an independent study and you get no extra credit for doing all of the work yourself!

Sometimes you need to take a break, and get some balance in your life.  Your job search should not be a 24/7 endeavor.  Just like the people who work all of the time are a little boring.  So are the people who job-search all of the time.

I remember Tony’s search.  Tony was in no rush to find a job.  He had a great severance package and wanted to take his time.  He golfed.  He vacationed.  He went to dinner parties.  And in between all of that, Tony had more interesting opportunities come his way than anyone I knew.

Here are some other things you might want to do…to get a little balance in your life.

Get a hobby.  About a year into my search, I was watching a figure skating championship on television, and made a decision.  I want to do that.  I want to skate through the ice – feeling free and undaunted.  Never mind that I hadn’t taken an ice skating lesson in 30 years.  I found a place that had lessons for adults and signed up.  Once a week for ten weeks, I got on that ice and didn’t think once about my job search.  And I did it.  I did that ½ axle without falling down!  I also met some very nice people who were encouraging, and much better than me on the ice!

Brush up on a language.  Did that single year of high school French class just not do the trick for you?  Forget Rosetta Stone.  Go to your local community college and take a class with others.  Plan a dinner at a great French restaurant for everyone to go – and speak only French!

Volunteer.  Grab your hammer and head over to the local Habitat for Humanity.  Volunteer to work on the next project this weekend.  You’ll meet some people, and be part of a team.

Take a class.  About a year into my search, my mom invited me to a Bible class.  I told her I had no intention of hanging out with a bunch of Bible thumpers.  But, as she so accurately pointed out, I had nothing else to do.  Guilty as charged, I met her at the Bible class the following day.  For the next two hours, I was on the edge of my seat – mesmerized by the teacher.  Kevin was part historian, part geographer, part religion teacher and part comedian.  Who knew the Bible could be so fascinating?!  I went back week after week.  And seven years later, I ended up finishing the entire Bible.  I often look back at my job search and know that had I not been in it, I would have never taken the time to go through this class.  As I look back at all of the things I’ve accomplished both work-wise and personally, this stands alone as number one.  And I have being out of work for 2 years (and 3 days) to thank!

Don’t let the marathon of today’s job search wear you out.  Having that balance and re-energizing yourself when you need it will give you the endurance to finish the race victoriously.

And whatever happened with the marathon?  Those last 4.2 miles were all in my mind.  The physical body gave out, and it took every amount of mental strength I could muster.  I talked myself into the fact that I could run four miles with ease.  Three miles, that’s nothing.  Two miles, who couldn’t do that?  One mile, I was running that when I was eight.  And with the finish line in sight, and the motivation from the crowds of people lined up along the course – clapping and screaming “You can do it.  Keep going.  You’re almost there.”  I did it.  I crossed that finish line.  And I have the medal to remind me that many things in life are challenging.  And the combination of being strong both physically and mentally, along with support from others will get you through virtually anything.

How to be the number one pick on NFL Draft Day!

Today is a really exciting day for me.  Yep, that’s right.  It’s Draft Day for the National Football League.  And to me, that only means one thing.  Football season (my favorite time of the year) is just around the corner!  Few stages exist where landing a job is such a public act.  I can’t think of too many others, except for maybe our presidential election, oh, and American Idol.

Much goes into selecting the right person for the team.  Coaches (and sometimes management) evaluate the team, find the holes (the same ones the opponents found in the previous season!), and look for individuals who would be both a fit for the position as well as a fit within the organization.  Rarely is it a highly strategic decision (although I’m certain some would disagree with me).  And often times, all of the work going into the selection might be hastily disregarded because a player they didn’t think would be available still is (e.g., the AZ Cardinals and Matt Leinart a few years back).

When you think about it, it’s not unlike other companies.  A company will evaluate its current need and make a tactical decision to hire someone.  It is very rare anymore to find a company that makes strategic hires the majority of the time (meaning…”we want you on the team and we’ll figure out where later”).  And, over the lifespan of a company, needs change.  One day, they might be looking for someone to expand the business rapidly.  The next, they’re looking for a turnaround expert (because the predecessor expanded too quickly?).  Either way, what you need to think about in your job search is, what do I bring to the table?  Where do I fit in?  And then align that with the companies that require your kind of expertise.

Just because you’re a great business developer doesn’t mean the company needs your skills.  Recently, Andrew came to one of our Executives Network meetings.  He knows how to sell.  His problem is that his company doesn’t know how to deliver.  Right now, they don’t need Andrew.  They need an operations specialist who can get the business to deliver on what Andrew sold.  The most important thing for Andrew – as he looks for his next position – is to evaluate the company’s operations and ensure they are equipped to deliver.  Otherwise, he’ll end up where he is today…looking for a job.

In an economy like this, companies are looking for tactical hires.  Filling a role for where they are in the lifecycle of the company.  Sometimes they’re expanding.  Sometimes they’re contracting.  Sometimes they’re on a marketing roll.  Sometimes they’re on a layoff roll.

As you evaluate which companies you want to work for, take a close look at which stage the company is in.  Determine not only if this is the right company for you, but is the company in the right stage of its lifecycle for you?  Sometimes a company that wasn’t a fit a few years back is a perfect fit now.  And sometimes a company that isn’t a fit today just might be ready for you in a couple years.  Doing your homework here could make the difference between a lot of companies interested in you…and none interested in you.

Gotta run!  Let’s see what the Lions do to in an effort to dodge another 0-16 season (and being that silver bullet brings a lot of pressure.  Matt, are you up for it?).

How much of the conversation are you missing because you’re doing all of the talking?

My dad was in the hospital recently.  He was having chest pains, so my mom called 911.  When the paramedics arrived, they started to ask him some questions.  But oh so quickly, Dad interrupted.  “Hey, do you know Willie?”  Willie is the Fire Chief.  Turns out they work for him.  “What about Mark?” Mark is their immediate boss.  Look at that, in the midst of crisis, Dad was making conversation – finding common bonds.  Doing some networking.  I think Dad got a little extra attention that day.

Fast forward to the hospital.  We’re in with my dad waiting to hear from the doctor.  As a general rule, my dad never seems to know what’s wrong with him or what they’re going to do.  And now I know why.  Right when the doctor is about to share some very important information, Dad interrupts with some very important questions.   “Did you get a chance to see the game last night?  Are you a golfer?  Darly sure is a great nurse, isn’t she?  Do you know Vanessa – over in Telemetry?  She’s really something!”  And that’s when it occurred to me.  How much is Dad missing because he is too busy talking and not busy listening?

This got me thinking about people who are out there networking.  You might be having a conversation with somebody, and just when they’re about to share some really important information, you interrupt with something you’re just dying to say.  By saying it, you take the conversation to another direction and now you’ll never know what it was they were going to tell you.  It could have been a possible connection.  It could have been a lead.  It could have resulted in some real revenue.  But instead, you just had to talk.

I was meeting with someone recently about some technology I’m trying to build.  As he was talking, I found myself about to interrupt him – multiple times.  It was that start/stop feeling of waiting for an opening so I could say something.  Kind of like when you were little, playing jump rope.  You keep waiting your turn, and if you’re not perfectly timed, you’ll end up getting tangled in the rope.  The anticipation of getting your timing just right forces you to think more about you and what you need to say, than listening to them and finding out what you need to hear.

In hindsight, what I should have done was jotted something down to remember the question or statement, and then continued listening.  But instead, I probably got tangled in the rope a few times.

People do this all of the time.  They talk and talk and then talk some more.  But to be a good conversationalist (and therefore, a good networker) you need to listen, listen and then listen some more.  And just because you’re not talking doesn’t mean you’re actually listening.

Try practicing this next time you’re in a conversation.  Let the other person talk.  And then let them talk some more.  And then, let them talk even more.  You’ll be amazed how much information you walk away with.  And don’t worry that you didn’t get to say everything you felt you needed to at the time.  You can schedule a networking meeting with yourself…and do all of the talking!

And what am I going to do with my dad?  I tell you what I’m going to do.  From now on, I’m going with him to every doctor’s appointment he has…so we can find out more than just his doctor’s golf handicap.